So I’m in the middle of moving house, and am cheaply decorating the new place by painstakingly finding nice, cheap second-hand items on Marktplaats, the Dutch answer to Craigslist (actually, it’s owned by eBay). It’s fun to get cool stuff for low prices, and to get a peek into other people’s homes and lives when I go over to pick them up. Today however, I was on the recieving end, since I offered a nice double bed for free on Marktplaats.
Just a mere three hours after putting the ad on the website, I got a call. It was surely one of the most absurd conversations I’ve ever had. Though the whole ordeal was not aided by the fact that the speaker of my phone is a bit dinky, I am positive I heard the parts I’m about to post.
Me: “Hi, this is Lotte”
Person with thick Limburg accent (south of Holland), let’s call him ‘Loet’: “Yeahhh hallo, I’m calling about the bed on Marktplaats.”
Me: “Ah, yes, that was fast!”
Loet: “So yeahhh, I’m looking for a bed….What shape is it in?
Me: “Well, it’s been used, but it’s a comfortable mattress and it still looks quite nice.”
Loet: “Oh… [dissapointed pause] Well, I’m looking for something that’s a bit used, like with those yellow stains and circles, you know.”
Me: “Um….ok….Well you know, it is free, so does that really matter?”
Loet: “You know it’s for a student and it’s a waste to get a nice mattress when other people need a nice mattress and I don’t really need a nice one. So some yellow stains are fine.”
Me: “Ok….I don’t….it’s up to you.”
Loet: “There [breaks up, something about a German Shepherd].”
Me: “I didn’t quite follow that. Look, it’s free. I need to get rid of it. I’ll be doing some painting and other DIY around the house, but we move in two weeks, so you can think about it, and see if you want to pick it up. Otherwise I’ll throw it out.”
Loet, feeling a bit happier now: “Heeeeyyyya, but if you’re doing so much work around the house, it might get dirty and stained! Then it’s much better!”
Me: “Ok, I’m going to hang up now. If you’re still interested, send me an email.”
Probably this was a prank call, but if it isn’t, I’ve learned that yellow mattress stains are a fetish too. Who knew!